Back to list

20 Things You Don’t See In Mainstream Porn

Jul 22, 2021

minutes
reading

20 Things You Don’t See In Mainstream Porn

Even though we know that porn isn’t an accurate representation of sex; in the absence of good sex education, it becomes hard to consciously separate entertainment from false ideas about what sex should look like.

But what makes sex in porn especially unrealistic, isn’t the loudly faked orgasms or unlikely scenarios—but what happens behind the scenes.

It’s not so much what we see—but what we don’t see.

Fantasies influence our expectations, whether we like it or not, so it’s still good to take stock of what is left out of porn.

Here is a non-comprehensive list of 20 things you don’t see in mainstream porn:

Consent. Pornstars have to verbally consent on-camera for the scene they’re about to shoot, as well as sign off on a physical contract. But real-life consent is sexy! We should all be establishing boundaries and making sure that our partners are enthusiastic about having sex with us.

Real earthy orgasms. What’s sexier than a real female orgasm? That’s something the porn industry is still trying to figure out…and it’s a huge problem. In the meantime, woman are shown having mind-blowing orgasms from hard-pounding intercourse, after less than a little fooling around. In real life, this would be painful.

Lube. Lubing and re-lubing happen off camera, and there’s a lot of it. But you will never see a porn star with a bottle in their hand. When two (or more) strangers have sex in front of a film crew, it usually isn’t the most conducive atmosphere for arousal. Lube is also a must during anal scenes.

Anal prepping. We wish anal was as effortless as it looks in porn—but the reality is, it just isn’t. There’s lots of off-screen lubing, anal training, butt plug prep, clean eating and wipes that go into a flawlessly smooth anal scene.

Awkward Moments. Sex can be awkward, from the strange conversations to the struggle to take off certain articles of clothing.

Peeing after sex. It is so important for women to pee after sex, as it prevents UTI’s and flushes out any bacteria—but you’ll never see this in porn.

Love. Most performers don’t have an existing or deep connection to the person they’re having sex with, so things like laughter and true chemistry on-screen are hard to find.

The clean up. Sex in real-life is messy…but sex in porn is often even messier. But you will never see a wipe or towel on camera.

Water breaks. Even pornstars have to hydrate…

Shyness. Most performers are paid actors, which can of course play a roll in appearing comfortable on-screen and with their bodies.

Communication. We already discussed initial consent, but we also don’t see much communication during sex in porn. There is rarely a discussion when there’s a change in position, and sex toys just magically appear.

Condoms. Most porn scenes don’t involve condoms, but that doesn’t mean there’s no protection in place. STI testing is a huge part of working in porn—performers are required to get tested every 14 days. We also can’t see if performers are on the pill or have an IUD.

Pubes. Rarely see them.

Vaginismus. An involuntary muscle spasm that prevents vaginal intercourse—sometimes this happens, and can be perfectly normal— but you’ll never see it on-screen.

Erectile Dysfunction. It’s the same with E.D., you’ll never see a man struggling to get hard, not achieving a full erection, or ejaculating prematurely.

Period Sex.

Arguments ending in “you’re not getting any”. This would not result in good porn.

Putting in the time for her. 15 minutes for oral sex doesn’t seem to be on the schedule, but putting in the time for your partner should be standard practice IRL.

Real pleasure and arousal. Arousal and pleasure can take time and often having some sort of connection with your partner—both of which, porn does not usually show.

Sex toys. Toys like butt plugs for anal prepping and the use of a vibrator during hetero intercourse typically aren’t seen. Basically toys that facilitate the receiving partner’s pleasure for their sake alone aren’t typically shown.

And just in case you needed one final reminder…porn IS NOT real life sex, and shouldn’t be used as a benchmark for “good sex”. There is much more to explore <3.