Getting Into Kink: A Beginner's Guide

There is little doubt that more and more people are dipping their toes into the world of kink. In addition to the general cultural shift towards more open and accepting attitudes regarding sexuality, books like Fifty Shades of Grey brought bondage and discipline (BDSM) and other kink practices into the public eye. Online communities have also provided spaces for people to learn, discuss, and share their experiences.

In fact, a Us study. found half of Americans have a kink they’d like to try with their partner — but are too afraid to bring up, while a study carried out in Norway found that 34% of respondents had carried out BDSM play.

Maybe you’re curious, or perhaps you’ve already tried but want to explore further. Embracing kink can be a fulfilling journey, but it’s important to approach it with care and respect. Here’s your guide to getting started safely and confidently.

What is Kink?

Kink encompasses a wide range of non-traditional sexual practices, from BDSM to fetishes and role-playing. If you’d like to delve deeper, VICE put together a list of some of the most popular practices including edging, foot fetish, and puppy play. But what they all have in common is the desire to explore outside of conventional norms. 

Lead with Communication and Consent

The cornerstone of any kink activity is communication. Open, honest dialogue with your partner(s) about your interests, limits, and boundaries is key. Discuss what you’re curious about and listen to their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Then address them and talk through until you are all comfortable going forward.

Consent must be enthusiastic and ongoing—never assume. Establish safe words or signals to make sure everyone remains comfortable and safe during your sexploration.

Safety First

Safety in kink extends beyond physical measures. Yes, knowing the risks and how to mitigate them (like understanding how to safely use restraints) is crucial. But emotional safety is also important. 

Be aware of potential emotional triggers and have a plan for aftercare—this is the time after where partners comfort and care for each other, ensuring everyone feels secure and supported.

Explore Your Desires

So, what’s your kink?

Start by reflecting on your interests. What excites you? What are your boundaries? There are countless resources available, from books and websites to workshops and forums, that can help you learn more about specific kinks. Engaging with the kink community, whether online or in person, can provide valuable insights and support. 

Start Slow

If you’re new to kink, ease into it. Start with light activities and gradually explore more intense experiences as you feel comfortable. For instance, if you’re interested in bondage, start with simple, loose ties before moving to more complex restraints. Remember, it’s a journey—there’s no rush to try everything at once.

If you’re looking for inspiration, check out (SKYN’s toy portfolio), and (other blog articles).

Aftercare

Aftercare is a vital part of the kink experience. It involves checking in with your partner after a scene, providing physical and emotional comfort. This could be anything from cuddling and talking to providing water and snacks. The goal is to ensure that both partners feel cared for and grounded after an intense experience.

Ready?

Exploring kink can be an exciting and rewarding, but it requires respect, and a commitment to ongoing learning. Prioritize communication, consent, and safety. As you navigate this new territory, remember that kink is about mutual enjoyment and shared pleasure. Approach each experience with an open mind, and you’ll discover new dimensions of intimacy.