“Libidown: why is low libido okay?”
The sound of silence. That’s how it can feel when it comes to low libido. One look at hot and heavy pop culture, and it appears that “real” men and women have insatiable appetites for sex.
However, the facts reveal that fluctuating levels of desire and a lack of intimacy affects one in three US women (of all ages and sexual orientation). A lower sex drive appears to be less of a problem for men, between 1% and 20%, but maybe they’re staying silent out of shame? Bottom line?; A low libido is more common than we think it is. *Breathes a sigh of relief*.
Instead of feeling ashamed that your relationship currently borders on platonic, let’s take a moment to understand why low libido happens. Hormonal imbalance, low self-esteem, medications, painful sex, shame around sexual desires, and high levels of stress can all contribute to a sexless relationship or marriage. Or you could just have a low sex drive and be perfectly happy with amazing sex once a week/month. Quality over Quantity!
Many sex therapists suggest that a balance between mind and body is key. So, if you’re looking to increase your sex drive, here are some solutions:
- Be honest with yourself. Are you happy with your current sex life?
- Talk to your partner. What can you both do to avoid a sex-starved marriage / relationship?
- Speak to a therapist. A problem shared is a problem halved!
- Don’t rush into hormone therapy treatment. Try making small, healthy adjustments, such as sleeping and eating well, and making time for exercise.
- Ignore the harmful messages that society perpetuates. You’re not “less of” a man if you don’t think about sex 24/7. You’re not a dysfunctional woman if you don’t want sex all the time. You’re also not a slut if you have a high sex drive (and happen to be reading this).
- Be kind to yourself.