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MY MARRIED SEX LIFE – EXPECTATION VS REALITY

Mar 17, 2022

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MY MARRIED SEX LIFE – EXPECTATION VS REALITY

Be honest. When you first read the words “married sex,” you weren’t thinking, “That sounds hot.” We’re here to ask the burning question: Why not? Who was the bright spot who (a) decided that long-term coupledom necessitates hot sex trailing off and (b) have they ever actually been in a relationship long enough to experience true intimacy? Let’s debunk all the clichés and, while we’re at it, throw some truths at some of the most commonly held expectations.

Many probably feel like the peak of their sex lives is in college or university, free to explore with different partners. That’s all well and good but if you are lucky enough to live to 80 or so, that leaves another 60 years to have a whole lot of kinky, loving, dirty, couple sex. So, while marriage or a real long-term relationship seems way off – and not filled with many ‘firsts’ – the people who are in those couples can attest to the fact that they’ve got it going on. It’s not all mundane, geared to conception, or, worst of all, boring. Know the number one thing experts say keeps couples together? Sex.

Expectation: Zzzzzz

While some long-term couples’ horizontal life is indeed boring, that’s not a given (maybe they themselves are boring?!). In reality, the longer you stay together, the better your intimate relationship gets. You are staying together, it’s safe, there’s intimacy…where better to explore your most outrageous fantasies, or ask outright for what you want?

Expectation: New sex is way better

So, here’s the official lowdown: Only 40% of women have an orgasm during casual sex (compared to 80% of men). In a committed relationship? That number moves up to 75% for women and stays close to the same for men. That’s a subject for another article. But for women, someone who digs you enough to make it A Thing is supremely dedicated to your pleasure. While one-offs, or two or three-offs, can be light and fun, maybe the idea of a one-night stand is better than the actual reality of long-term hooking up.

Expectation: Long-term relationships aren’t kinky

Stop right there. If kink is your thing, chances are you are with someone who knew that going in. And didn’t bat an eyelash. And if you are just tapping into the left-of-center part of yourself, while it isn’t for everyone, if your SO is into you, they might well be into all of you, kinks included. And boom, you just spiced it all up again.

When push comes to shove, everyone’s sex drive is different, and everyone’s couple is, and should be, created in their own image. But assuming that marriage or a long-term relationship is anything but hot does everyone a disservice. Including single peeps.