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The Noise You Make In Bed Is Not Proportional To The Pleasure You Get

Jul 21, 2021

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The Noise You Make In Bed Is Not Proportional To The Pleasure You Get

We have porn and rom-coms to thank for creating the myth that louder is better during sex, a supposed signifier that the sex is extra spicy. Does that mean that you’re doing sex wrong if you’re on the quiet sound - even at the point of orgasm? No, definitely not! There is no “wrong” when it comes to sex - unless there is a lack of safety and/or consensuality.

A common misunderstanding in relationships (or casual hookups) is that you didn’t have a good time during sex if you weren’t making much noise. In this case, it’s simply a matter of communicating with your partner and clearly letting them know just how much they turned you on. After all, if you had an orgasm without making a sound, that’s a very clear sign that you and your body were very much present.

Below are just a few reasons as to why being silent during sex doesn’t mean you’re not riding the pleasure wave!

Read My Body Language
Focusing on each other and maintaining regular eye contact is hot as hell - no sounds needed. Seriously, try it.

Choose Your Words Carefully
Ok, so technically this is not silence but it also isn’t over the top moaning and groaning. The odd word here and there - to signal pleasure or pain - can be great for intimacy in your relationship, and help guide your partner’s hands (or tongue) to ensure maximal pleasure.

Focus On How You Feel
When The Archives of Sexual Behavior carried out a study asking 71 straight women (between 18 and 48) about noise levels during sex, a whopping 87% responded saying that they were more vocal in order to boost their male partner’s self-esteem. Repeat after us: Your sexual pleasure is just as important as your partner’s. Stop caring about how you sound and start focusing on how you feel.

Have Sex Whenever You Want
Silent sex is especially convenient when you live with a roomie or you’re visiting your parents for the weekend, with your partner in tow. The thrill of not getting caught can even add to the excitement and intensify both of your orgasms. We don’t advise this however if you have been cursed with a squeaky bed.

So there you have it - quiet sex can be incredibly hot! Your level of noise does not correspond to your level of desire, and you should never feel like you have to do something for someone else’s benefit.